Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
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No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
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Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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