He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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