Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Randomize
