looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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