They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
