No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
