when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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