I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And then my night got REAL pukey
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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