I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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