I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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