if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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