I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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