That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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