The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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