I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
