I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
