Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
