she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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