i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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