yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
