another moral hangover. fuck.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
