As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
How external is "for external use only"?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
