he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
