I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
