that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
