In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
