I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
