It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I am available for nakedness
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
