afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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