yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
