Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
