i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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