Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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