We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
