I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i would punch a child for taco bell
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
