where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
should my penis look like a turkey
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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