I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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