I accidentally had phone sex last night
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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