my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize