i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
