who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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