We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
