Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
