last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
