PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
