im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
