NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
