Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
