Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My breasts were aching with rage.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
