how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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