i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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