I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
