she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
