At least make sure they are 18
Why
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
