jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
