i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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