Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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