sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
