pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
